Let's start the New Year off with a bang....

Albeit at the expense of my son cracking his head off a light fixture. I should have downloaded these home videos months ago, they're that much fun.

Some people are just accidentally funny...I don't think they mean to be, they just are.

This video requires a little introduction:

1. We loaded the family into the van for a 7-hour trip to the West Edmonton Mall to celebrate Jack's 5th birthday. All this with the use of little more than prescription drugs. Jack wanted to stay in the Truck theme suite at the Fantasyland Hotel. I was all like, "Right on, little dude. It's your birthday! We'll go there for sure." Enter Scottish husband, who almost had a cardiac event after looking at the prices. (Something I should have done first, prior to making promises.) So we comprised; two nights in a cheap hotel followed by check-in to the absurdly over-priced theme suite for the big birthday night. Incidentally, I was much more comfortable having James roll around on the floor in the "cheap" hotel...not sure if 'ole Fantasyland has had a carpet update in the last, oh, let's go with 40 years to avoid the risk of over-shooting. But as for the cool factor? It's got that covered off like an ace.
2. You may want to skip to about 2:15 on this video...quite frankly, my running narrative up to the incident is rather embarrassing. I think I'm going to keep a roll of duct tape next to my video camera with a sticky note as a reminder: "Please adhere thick strip over lips prior to recording."
3. If you choose to watch the entire video, you may find yourself asking, "Is there a pair of great horned owls in the room?" The answer is no. It's just my husband and I exchanging ill-sounding ooooo, ooooos and aaaaaahs. Please, don't be alarmed. We were not mating at time of recording.  In addition to sounding like a bird in heat, there's a vein of meth-addled junkie in there, with all my: "Oooooooooooh, Woooooooooow. How cooooool is that? Look, look, looooooook. Oh my gooooooodness. The green light just went on....wooooooooow. Bunker Beds. Cooooooooooool."  (We've been watching The Wire. Trust me. I sound like I have a serious drug problem. If anything, I'm just a touch more animated.)
4. Having cleared the light fixture on his initial walk over, Jack makes the fatal error of a horribly timed turn and jump (a touch more painful than an ill-fated turn into someones burp and blow), and is caught completely unaware of the giant light fixture hanging just above his head. The way he looks up after and scans the sky to see what could have possibly hit him with such force...have mercy. I was laughing so hard, I was wheezing. I could barely squeak out the obligatory, "Are you OK?" (you MUST find a way to say this if you're the mother...if you're not the mother, you can continue laughing for days, that's OK); there was no way I dared look at my husband, who I could hear choking it back behind me. Hell, one look at his face would have done me in. As it was, it took every ounce of strength to keep from soiling myself.
5. When Jack turns to give me shit, and says, "Don't yaff", rather than stopping, I toss him the (very weak) low-ball, "I'm not laughing at that anymore." Not only am I cruel, I'm a liar as well. He then proceeds to jump off the bed in the most ungainly manner, at which point I was officially cooked, quite literally thinking of death to stop the laughter (tell me I'm not the only one who does this). 
6. Little dude, you sustain me. Don't ever change. (And one day I'll have to tell you that in all honesty, I yaffed about this incident for the entire 7-hour drive home.)
7. And, please...no need to judge me. I'm fully aware I'm an asshole. (Which incidentally, is a bona fide medical condition. New readers, see here What not to do 2 weeks after giving birth...