Friday, July 29, 2016

1 calories burned...

For the last three Fridays in a row, I have been getting up at the ass-crack of dawn to hit the one-hour training session at Orange Theory. We're the deranged 5:00 am group. So whilst purging my inbox this week, I came across my "performance assessments" for the last three workouts. The one from last Friday? And I quote "1 calories burned".

They didn't even have the decency to make that bitch singular.

1 calories burned.

That's a tic tac.

One. Fucking. Tic. Tac.

All this for an hour of outrageous athleticism. (insert cough) Now for someone who eats an entire container of tic tacs in under 7 minutes - because I crunch them like the candy that they are - this preliminary cost-benefit analysis makes me question many things. Like if maybe I died during my work-out and found Jesus.

Don't even ask me what a splat point this point, I don't care.

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